Tips for Parents to Help Youth

• Parenting is a tough job:
  Give yourself credit for taking on an unpaid 24-hour-a-day, seven-days-a-week job.
   

• Parenting is the most important job you will ever have: 
  Remind yourself that through good parenting you have an opportunity to make a real difference in the world.
     

• Sometimes kids are just being kids: 
  Learn what to expect from your child at each stage of development. Children progress through predictable stages and their needs and behaviors change over time. Sometimes it helps just to know that 2 yr. olds have temper tantrums and teenagers challenge the authority of their parents. There are many good books to help you.  Check with your child’s doctor, school, your church or the local bookstore for ideas.
   

• Babies are not always bundles of joy:  
  Never shake or physically discipline a baby. Hitting or shaking a baby causes them to cry more and greatly increases the risk for serious physical damage or death.  It is normal to be stressed when your baby cries, but it is dangerous to express your feelings with physical force.
   

• Sometimes children misbehave to get attention:  
  Don’t forget to pay attention to your children when they are being good. If they know they can count on your attention for good behavior; they will be less likely to misbehave.
   

• Structure and predictability are important for children: 
  Provide structure and predictability for your child from infancy through the teen years. If a child knows what to expect, behavior problems are less likely.
   

• Your children will not always like your rules:
  Be clear in letting your child know what you expect and then be consistent in following through on those expectations, but don’t expect your children to agree. All children test the limits, but they are less likely to frustrate you if you set clear rules and enforce them.
   

• Discipline does not need to be physical:  
  Learn to use non-physical discipline. It works and you don’t run the risk of hurting your children. Some examples of non-physical discipline are taking away privileges and time outs. Call your doctor, your school, or your church or synagogue for ideas about classes or good books to help you develop a plan for non -physical discipline.
   

• No parent is perfect:  
  Know what “trips your trigger” and stay tuned into your own stress level.  Stress that is occurring in your marriage, your job, and with other family members affects your ability to handle child behavior problems.  Put together a “cool down-calm down” plan in advance.   For example, give yourself a “time out” if you think you are about to lose control with your children.  Make sure your children are supervised, but detach from the conflict and do something nice for yourself.
   

• Humor relieves stress:  
  Practice a “lighten up” approach to frustrating situations with your children.  Children respond positively to a touch of humor and humor can soften the seriousness of many situations.
   

• Alcohol and drug use makes you more likely to hurt your children physically and emotionally:
  Do not use alcohol or other chemicals to relieve your stress.  Alcohol and other chemicals change your behavior and increase the risk that you will react impulsively in ways that will hurt your children.
   

• No man or woman is an island:  
  Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help.  Every parent feels overwhelmed at least some of the time.  It is a sign of strength to ask for help.  Call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000 or contact a trusted friend, relative, counselor or member of the clergy.